i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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