She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
