you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
