He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
