I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
