Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
