Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
