I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
