i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
