i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
