i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
