So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
