I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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