I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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