How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Randomize
