so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
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