we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
