We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Randomize
