His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
