no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
