i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
