And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
