Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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