i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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