Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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