i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
