I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
