It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
