i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
