We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
