i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
