I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
And then he peed in my hair
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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