Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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