Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
