This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
