I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
