I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
