At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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