It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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