quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
