I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
