I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I woke up under a house in Key West
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
