Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
