This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
