hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Randomize
