He is such a slut. More and more my type.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Randomize
