i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
