i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
