So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
