I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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