The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
