And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
